Pitching Nightmares

Tell us about the pitch that still haunts you

Procurement, marketing, agency or somewhere in between, everyone in pitching has a horror story. Send us yours in 300 words or fewer. The best one wins a custom Game Boy Color in Pitch'd purple.

Submit your nightmare

How it works

  1. Step 1: Write it up.

    Up to 300 words. Enter as many times as you have nightmares, one story per entry.

  2. Step 2: Disguise the details.

    Change the sector, the year, the city, whatever you need. Just don't name any person, organisation or campaign, and keep it free of cruelty.

  3. Step 3: Choose who sees it.

    Keep it private to the judging panel, or let us share it. Your call.

  4. Step 4: Wait for the verdict.

    Our panel judges blind. Results on Friday 30 October, just in time for Halloween.

What the judges look for

Every story is scored against the same five criteria. The full scorecard is in the rules.

  • Creative flair

    Tell it well. Voice and pay off add weight.

  • Originality

    The situation nobody else has lived through.

  • Absurdity

    The moment it went beyond all reason.

  • Injustice and peril

    What was at stake, and who got wronged.

  • Aim

    Laugh at the behaviour, not the person. Nobody gets demonised.

The panel

Five judges from agency and procurement, including Pitch'd co-founder Rebecca Bellairs. The rest are revealed on Tuesday 13 October. Unlucky for some.

  • Rebecca Bellairs

    Rebecca Bellairs

    Co-founder, Pitch'd

  • Judge to be revealed on 13.10

  • Judge to be revealed on 13.10

  • Judge to be revealed on 13.10

  • Judge to be revealed on 13.10

A custom Game Boy Color in Pitch'd purple

The prize

One custom Game Boy Color, finished in Pitch'd purple, with three games. One winner, anywhere in the world. We cover delivery and any import charges.

No names. No brands. No NDA breaches.

You can invent or change any detail to protect yourself and everyone else. We can't check whether a story is true, and we don't claim any of them are. Keep it private to the panel, or let us share it with the credit you choose. If a private entry makes the top four, we may rewrite it and share it anonymously.

Submit your nightmare

Three hundred words. No names. Go.

We'll use this to contact you about your entry.

0 / 300 words

Up to 300 words. Change any details you like, but don't name any person, organisation or campaign.

Who can see your story?

If a private entry places in the top four, we may rewrite it and share it anonymously.

Before you submit

  • Your story must be your own work, in English, and about a pitch or agency selection.
  • Members of the judging panel can't enter.
  • If you let us share it, you keep the copyright and give Pitch'd a licence to edit it and publish it in our content.
  • Entries after 5pm (UK) on Tuesday 27 October won't be judged. To withdraw an entry, email rebecca@pitchd.ai before then.

FAQs

Can I enter more than once?

Yes, as many times as you like, as long as each entry is a different story.

Does it have to be true?

Change whatever you need to. We don't check, and we never present any entry as fact.

Who can enter?

Anyone 18 or over, apart from members of the judging panel.

Can I enter from outside the UK?

Yes, from most countries, if you're 18 or over. The exceptions are countries where the law restricts competitions like this, or where we can't legally send the prize, including countries under UK sanctions. We pay delivery and any import charges on the prize.

Who sees my story?

The judging panel, without your name attached. Nobody else unless you say we can share it, or it places in the top four, in which case we may rewrite it and share it anonymously.

What if I let you share my story?

You keep the copyright. You give Pitch'd a licence to edit it, for length and anonymity, and publish it on LinkedIn, our website and in our newsletters, with the credit you choose. We don't have to publish every entry.

Can I withdraw my entry?

Yes. Email rebecca@pitchd.ai before entries close at 5pm (UK) on Tuesday 27 October.

How does judging work?

Pitch'd's co-founder and one other judge score every eligible entry, and the four highest scores go to the final. All five judges then score the final four against the same weighted scorecard. Ties go to the higher Creative flair score, then Originality. The panel's decision is final.

What happens if I win?

We'll email you and message you on LinkedIn on Friday 30 October. Reply within 14 days with your delivery address, or the prize goes to 2nd place. We may ask you to confirm your age. There's no cash alternative and the prize can't be transferred. If it becomes unavailable for reasons outside our control, we may swap in a prize of equal or greater value.

What happens to my details?

We hold your entry on the Pitch'd platform until judging is done, then handle it under our privacy policy. We only send you updates if you tick the box.

Is this anything to do with LinkedIn or Nintendo?

No. Neither sponsors, endorses or runs it.